JASON AND TORI: The Power of Holding Hands and Focus in Love

(Via JasonandTori.com)We hold hands a lot. We never knew why we enjoyed it so much until we listened to a talk by a clinical psychologist who spoke about the power of holding hands and its effect on the brain.

He put people into an MRI machine and lightly shocked them to see how their brains responded. With each small shock, the stress levels in their brains skyrocketed.

He then had them hold hands with a stranger. Their brain response calmed a little, but not much.

Then he had them hold hands with their spouse. This time their brains responded with far less stress, actually moving more toward normal levels. They also reported feeling less pain with the shock.

Finally, he decided to do an image scan of the brains of the spouses (those not getting shocked). To his surprise, he discovered that their brains mirrored the same stress level as the spouse who had received the shock.

He ended his talk by explaining that holding hands with someone is deeper than just enjoying physical touch – it’s our brain’s way of communicating to another person that we are “with” them. This signal is so powerful that done consistently over time it changes from “I’m WITH you” to “I AM you.”


“…and the two shall become one.” Sounds like science is catching up with the Bible. And it sounds like we need to hold hands more…


The phrase “fall in love” should be replaced with “focus in love.” We don’t truly “fall” in love. Rather, we focus on what we like in a person and our admiration draws us to them.

We learn this in a small love story found in Genesis 29:20. “And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.”

Jacob served Rachel’s dad for seven years before he could marry his daughter. That’s almost two full college lifetimes. If I were Jacob, I would have tried to marry her first and then work the seven years, but Jacob chose the harder route as he wanted to earn his keep.

The most interesting part of this little love story is that these seven years “seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.” How does seven full years of hard labor seem like a few days?

Because of LOVE!

When you’re in love with someone your focus is on them and not yourself. You’re not pulled in a million different directions. The time seemed to fly by because Jacob’s focus wasn’t on how hard the work was, but on how much he loved his girl. His focus was right, so his heart was right.

Maybe your love has grown cold and you’ve forgotten what it felt like to be in love. Well, make your spouse your focus today, and readjust your heart so you are more concerned about them than yourself. When your focus is right, your heart will be right. Jacob got it right and so can we.


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