BENHAM BROS: Parking Your Ambition and Four Destructive Behaviors

( & – Too many couples struggle from ambition angst. Ambition is a great passenger but a terrible driver. It can help you accomplish great things but it can also tear you apart.

All-too-often we see couples struggling because one or both have competing ambitions. They may fulfill a dream but they fail in marriage.

The key is to keep our ambition in check. We counsel couples to do two things – clearly communicate what you want, and then promptly let it go! The second part is not always embraced with a hearty “Amen.”

The best way we’ve (Jason and Tori) found to harness our own personal ambitions is through the power of appreciation. When you focus on what you appreciate about your spouse you are more inclined to drop my thing for our thing.

The beauty of parking your own personal ambition is that, in time, you may get to accomplish that dream after all. But you’ll have a healthy marriage and a happy spouse to share it with.

So ask yourself, “Is there anything that I want personally that’s standing in the way of us relationally?” If so, drop your thing for our thing and watch your thing magically re-appear.

Four Destructive Behaviors

In the last sixteen years of doing business we have seen four behavior traits that 100% guarantee failure in life. No matter how talented, skilled, or experienced a person is, if they exhibit any of these characteristics we knew immediately they were not a fit for our company.

As parents, we have seen this to be true of our kids as well. It happens more than we’d like, but when our kids do one or all of these four things it makes us want to run to the top of the Empire State Building and jump off. Well, maybe not. But you get the picture.

The fact is, we’ve failed in these areas as well. We all have. But when we learn to NOT do these four things we’ll find ourselves far more valuable not only in our jobs but in our lives.

Four things that guarantee you will LOSE at everything in life and business:

1. Complain about everything. These people make life miserable for everyone and nobody wants to be around them.

2. Blame other people. Taking responsibility is the number one sign of personal and professional responsibility.

3. Be ungrateful. If you don’t operate out of an attitude of gratitude you’ll gravitate to the entitled mindset.

4. Be undisciplined. Discipline is doing what you don’t want to do to accomplish what you want to accomplish. More is accomplished in the pain cave than the comfort zone.

If you learn to stop complaining, start taking responsibility, operate out of a thankful heart, and live a disciplined life you’ll discover the world is a very rewarding place!

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